where am i

honestly
i am new
its been so long

but now
i am half dead
should i go back 2 the old times?
where i feel just free
toilet bowl, bunch of foods with me

somebody said i am fat .stupid.

all this things
gonna trigger me back
i want 2 feel free
like i use 2 be?? oh help me
i don't feel such a reality

da issue dat u will never understand

look at me now

i purge again today
when im alone at home
im so down depressed
by them
they who always badmouth me
what im doing
what i eat
i dun get it
why shud they care
i know how to take care of myself
what i do is never been their business
i am annoyed.i truly am.

n my system
i am happy how i start not 2 b more triggered by food
i lose my appetite
i can have control

dear self, please hold on
watever may comes, fight till the end
cos i am thiny me.dats wat im reaching for n gonna b.
i can do this. u all also can.

where do i start

lets go, me n u :)

M.I.A

hello all darls.. anamia girls..
OMG. yea, im back.
sorry for all da M.I.A-missing in action things..
u know wats wrong wif all da world nowadays.
ive got involved wif da revolution riot things,
not dat i took part in it, but da place where im studying is..
then ive been sent back 2 my hometown 4 about 2 3 months..
thnk god im safe.

n now i am back,
honestly damn truly, ive been thinking about u all.
n yup, i miss mia n ana. i gain weight again,
last nyte, i can't really study.
im thinking why did i lose my grip when i can control things??
i just want a perfect body, a perfect soul.

maybe i shud take down the weight chart above,
n hell yeah, gonna change all
da background, da music, well u know,
i shud not give up. i can start again.


a new page.
where da rest is still unwritten.

again,i miss u.i really am.*seems annoying huh.lol*
-always. gottabsomebody <3-

revenge is sweeter than u ever were

im depressed with all da exam stuff

its not easy. no wonder some ppl just gave up their study

but i love my future, parents who gave everyting

n i love my body

so few weeks on focusing,
im eating but restrict.
n im taking all my housemates n friends bad talk
their madness. envyness. 'busybody'ness. haha
i hide in my room when they eat
n when i eat with them im taking longer time in toilet after that
mia is closer than me in dis period stage
but i need you ana

i dun feel great.
when i see da num increased
but a smile is back
cos i just saw my GW is on da scale
i love u scale.
i can see my collarbone, my hipbone is appearing
but i really need a thigh gap. n a smaller face. *mybe plastic surgery?. haha*

i know i can do this. i know we all can.
u all keep inspire me.
especially ryte now there r many anamia tumblr.
n i love it. thanks ppl.
so lets start a new GW.
n dun forget 2 wish me luck. im still having my exam.

dun worry, tomorrow is always a new day. wat u need 2 do is, JUST believe in urself. stop worrying n be calm. dats y we have each other. <3
*im keeping my track in twitter*

demn

yea damn
damn n damn

here comes da feast. one week holiday.
ive got my good friend came from other town
n u know wat happened, we kept hanging out
n she took control of me. she took control of wat came into my body.

n i damn hate me.
i gained weight again, to 53kg..
ive kept thinking, ive been hold on for so long,
y am i so stupid..

blahhh...**** off...
ive got new buddy at twitter..
tomorrow, 19th -26th, im gonna start the 'thanksgiving fasting'..
lets see wat will hppen..

gonna b hiatus..cos ive got midterm coming...
doodles to all!! n keep on fighting!!