never good enough

ya, i love this song. i am proud of me.
i believe, i shud not listen 2 others.i shud listen 2 me.

while writing this, i am eating vegie..
just small amount.. due to my headache..
n ive got test at class today, n yay, i can't answer it.
damn shit.

but on da bright side, im starting my restrict last week..
em, restrict almost to fasting..
n last thursday, ive got huge headache, throw up a lot of liquid.
yup, my housemates once again making dat as A BIG DEAL that i must face..
they keep asking about my eating..
lately they ask ALOT.. they try to control me..
but sory, i want to have a perfect body, so here im da one who's having control..
its become easier since my roomate had moved out..
i can lock myself in the room, exercise and faking eat anytime i want..

n the great is, still rmber dat when i get back here, i gained weight..
its 54kg actually.. now due to the restrict, im back to 51kg..
im loving this.i can feel my collarbone. now waiting for my hipbone 2 appear. friends, who i loved, i need u..
please add me at ur twitter, so we can keep in touch..
n to anyone who's got any idea about supplements,protein shake or energy drink,
please let me know!
cos im searching for it now..

n 2 ana buddies, love ya.keep strong.
we may not be gud enough, but we are thinning 2 perfection.
.WE CAN DO THIS.

here we go again

i dun wanna regret cos i know dat world mean useless
sorry, for all dis time long dat i haven't write..


after da last post, all da struggling with final xam.
i went back home to far far away land..
n fullstop.we all know wat happened when it got to do with family.
when im not eating, mummy urge me 2..
cos when i got back, she said i looked skinny..

but now, ****, when i got back here, ppl said i look chubby..
yeah, for about 2 months, i gained mybe 2kgs??or 4kgs??
i really dun wanna c da number. cos it hurts me..

n here we start a new college life, me n housemates..
then, im starting dis week..
im not sponsoring part of my money 2 da ous fund, n i said i don wanna eat for dis week..
sudden, all my housmie bcame so damn bizzared bout dis..
y they have 2 care about it?? i know how 2 look after my own body..
i really dun get it..

just, im trying my best 2 get back 2 me..
n we'll see... that i am me..
i just missed u all ladies!!!
miss u very much...ana...

im sick??

am i sick?? ive been stressed out lately.. yup, bcause of stdy.. n i just knew dat da author of da NEW MNF had gone for a break... n me?? i did fast 4 da MNF for 2days,losing 1 kg..
then i knew LEMON had gone.. but lets support each other.. everyone has their own reason..
n she just need some time...just b strong LEMON~

n me,
em...yesterday,im not fasting..
bcause of da xam..
my adrenaline had put an impct strength on me (y im using dis term???lol)
i dunno if bcause of dat mia had come again 2 my life 4 da past few days..
n ysterday, me and all of my housemates had gone 4 lunch 2gether...
n back at home, i purged...alot...
n i dunno y im so tired yesterday evening...

so its ok,
2day i start fasting again...
i shud never give up...shud i??
i shud never say never ryte??
im worried since im taking dental course,
my prof used 2 mention bout mia...
n there is one of my buddies who knew bout dis,
n keep watching her eyes on me...
she shud shut her mouth i think...

..watever it is..ana n mia is my best buddies.. ..think thin..i believe in me n u..

im a hero

life's such a hectic
im gettin tired n stress due 2 my study life dat i sacrifice
n now, ive got exam in each week??? WTh
owh yeah..2 things stucked in my mind
-study -weight me

n all my frens..we're just few n all r away from families..
each weekend, we make a gathering...
n when there's a gathering, there must b food ryte??
n yup, i ate a lot..
i thought i need energy for xam.. so i ate?? lol..
n alot means...binging for 4 days in a row..
sucks ryte..

i need a company...a buddy..a booster..
then i found a new site..
which will make u think dat u're living in a light fairy princess's castle..
its totally supportive...i love it...
n guess wat, da MNF had start again...
its called N0t Too LAte MNF...n im joining...

since im rarely on9 due to xam,
i'll start 2day n will end 15august...
every1, do join...n lets update each other..
*wish me luck* for xam n dis life*
*p/s- lovin jessica's stroup's backbone*

im a hero of my own story
n i don't need 2 be saved

count on me

i changed my layout
i upload new music
i wanna b fresh n confident anamia
i dun wanna fail
i wanna b succeed
everyday is a new day
n it'll b btter if i can hang on
if not i'll start fresh n new
i want 2 b light n light
no more stress
n dis is a confession dat im still hanging on
i'll do btter

wishing dat 2 all of u 2

-gottabsomebody-
new thinysp0- jessica stroup 90210 (jealousy of her bone) -#-

A NEW ME

OH MY GOD..
its been such along2 time i didn't write..
hoow i reallllly miss all da anas n mias buddies...

so ive got stuck into such a uni conflict..
dat makes me stuck...n travel mostly all da time 2 sttle up da probs...
i travelled n yup i ate..
how ppl will get suicide if they get into my probs..
how u're totally far awy from ur family n need 2 sttle up all da stud illegal issue all by urself..
n ppl really love 2 take others money ryte??
huh...so tired of talkin bout such stupid stuff...

da great news is,
i transfer 2 a great uni...n really starting such a fresh a engine in my study...
n i rented a new big house..n i just got internet...!!!
so 2 my lovely buddies. i'll contct u soon...

n bout my body issue...
here's da thing...i travelled n ate n i got dis huge distract
n i gained weight...55.7kg...sucks isn't it???

then ive been fasting 4 bout 10 days...
eat low cals..but still i just lost till 53.5kg..
im hepy,but my trget is 50 n im not even close...
hurm, so starting yesterday,
i try da non solid fast...
just soup n drinks...wish me luck gurls..
n i MISS u all so muchhhh ;****
(got stuck with studies makes me eat less n if i can, i'll try 2 update k???
next week got quiz!!! ;O...bubye)

drowning in meaningless

here i am..
for long ive been gone..
a month?? yeah...lol
em, its true..im stuck in da mid of my own college's prob...
then about a month ive been out of town..
settling up everytin..n now im back, things still being unsettled..
im so damn jealous wif other frens, having their finals..
n im stuck like hell a politician doing things other than stdy..

im stress out..
i tried 2 fast, i last bout 2 days n i drop from 53.7 to 53.3kg..
see, i can do it if i want it...
n now im back at home, i know dis will b easier..
y not???only me can set my mind...
n internet, no...im using my frens cos my internet connection sucks..
less money, less eat, less internet???

ouh yeah..now i am me..
i watched grey's last nyte..
she said,

the very worst part is dat da minute u think u're past it,
it starts all over again.
n always, everytime, it takes ur breath away..