where do i start

lets go, me n u :)

M.I.A

hello all darls.. anamia girls..
OMG. yea, im back.
sorry for all da M.I.A-missing in action things..
u know wats wrong wif all da world nowadays.
ive got involved wif da revolution riot things,
not dat i took part in it, but da place where im studying is..
then ive been sent back 2 my hometown 4 about 2 3 months..
thnk god im safe.

n now i am back,
honestly damn truly, ive been thinking about u all.
n yup, i miss mia n ana. i gain weight again,
last nyte, i can't really study.
im thinking why did i lose my grip when i can control things??
i just want a perfect body, a perfect soul.

maybe i shud take down the weight chart above,
n hell yeah, gonna change all
da background, da music, well u know,
i shud not give up. i can start again.


a new page.
where da rest is still unwritten.

again,i miss u.i really am.*seems annoying huh.lol*
-always. gottabsomebody <3-

revenge is sweeter than u ever were

im depressed with all da exam stuff

its not easy. no wonder some ppl just gave up their study

but i love my future, parents who gave everyting

n i love my body

so few weeks on focusing,
im eating but restrict.
n im taking all my housemates n friends bad talk
their madness. envyness. 'busybody'ness. haha
i hide in my room when they eat
n when i eat with them im taking longer time in toilet after that
mia is closer than me in dis period stage
but i need you ana

i dun feel great.
when i see da num increased
but a smile is back
cos i just saw my GW is on da scale
i love u scale.
i can see my collarbone, my hipbone is appearing
but i really need a thigh gap. n a smaller face. *mybe plastic surgery?. haha*

i know i can do this. i know we all can.
u all keep inspire me.
especially ryte now there r many anamia tumblr.
n i love it. thanks ppl.
so lets start a new GW.
n dun forget 2 wish me luck. im still having my exam.

dun worry, tomorrow is always a new day. wat u need 2 do is, JUST believe in urself. stop worrying n be calm. dats y we have each other. <3
*im keeping my track in twitter*

demn

yea damn
damn n damn

here comes da feast. one week holiday.
ive got my good friend came from other town
n u know wat happened, we kept hanging out
n she took control of me. she took control of wat came into my body.

n i damn hate me.
i gained weight again, to 53kg..
ive kept thinking, ive been hold on for so long,
y am i so stupid..

blahhh...**** off...
ive got new buddy at twitter..
tomorrow, 19th -26th, im gonna start the 'thanksgiving fasting'..
lets see wat will hppen..

gonna b hiatus..cos ive got midterm coming...
doodles to all!! n keep on fighting!!

never good enough

ya, i love this song. i am proud of me.
i believe, i shud not listen 2 others.i shud listen 2 me.

while writing this, i am eating vegie..
just small amount.. due to my headache..
n ive got test at class today, n yay, i can't answer it.
damn shit.

but on da bright side, im starting my restrict last week..
em, restrict almost to fasting..
n last thursday, ive got huge headache, throw up a lot of liquid.
yup, my housemates once again making dat as A BIG DEAL that i must face..
they keep asking about my eating..
lately they ask ALOT.. they try to control me..
but sory, i want to have a perfect body, so here im da one who's having control..
its become easier since my roomate had moved out..
i can lock myself in the room, exercise and faking eat anytime i want..

n the great is, still rmber dat when i get back here, i gained weight..
its 54kg actually.. now due to the restrict, im back to 51kg..
im loving this.i can feel my collarbone. now waiting for my hipbone 2 appear. friends, who i loved, i need u..
please add me at ur twitter, so we can keep in touch..
n to anyone who's got any idea about supplements,protein shake or energy drink,
please let me know!
cos im searching for it now..

n 2 ana buddies, love ya.keep strong.
we may not be gud enough, but we are thinning 2 perfection.
.WE CAN DO THIS.

here we go again

i dun wanna regret cos i know dat world mean useless
sorry, for all dis time long dat i haven't write..


after da last post, all da struggling with final xam.
i went back home to far far away land..
n fullstop.we all know wat happened when it got to do with family.
when im not eating, mummy urge me 2..
cos when i got back, she said i looked skinny..

but now, ****, when i got back here, ppl said i look chubby..
yeah, for about 2 months, i gained mybe 2kgs??or 4kgs??
i really dun wanna c da number. cos it hurts me..

n here we start a new college life, me n housemates..
then, im starting dis week..
im not sponsoring part of my money 2 da ous fund, n i said i don wanna eat for dis week..
sudden, all my housmie bcame so damn bizzared bout dis..
y they have 2 care about it?? i know how 2 look after my own body..
i really dun get it..

just, im trying my best 2 get back 2 me..
n we'll see... that i am me..
i just missed u all ladies!!!
miss u very much...ana...

im sick??

am i sick?? ive been stressed out lately.. yup, bcause of stdy.. n i just knew dat da author of da NEW MNF had gone for a break... n me?? i did fast 4 da MNF for 2days,losing 1 kg..
then i knew LEMON had gone.. but lets support each other.. everyone has their own reason..
n she just need some time...just b strong LEMON~

n me,
em...yesterday,im not fasting..
bcause of da xam..
my adrenaline had put an impct strength on me (y im using dis term???lol)
i dunno if bcause of dat mia had come again 2 my life 4 da past few days..
n ysterday, me and all of my housemates had gone 4 lunch 2gether...
n back at home, i purged...alot...
n i dunno y im so tired yesterday evening...

so its ok,
2day i start fasting again...
i shud never give up...shud i??
i shud never say never ryte??
im worried since im taking dental course,
my prof used 2 mention bout mia...
n there is one of my buddies who knew bout dis,
n keep watching her eyes on me...
she shud shut her mouth i think...

..watever it is..ana n mia is my best buddies.. ..think thin..i believe in me n u..